My father loved the outdoors, and I honoured this with an image on his stone
I didn't write this entry in November of 2018. I have struggled for the last year to string together monthly posts as I have done in the past. It's actually May 1 2019 today. The land has reawakened with sunshine and birdsong.
In November we buried my father. It was a day I had dreaded since he died. It was a final task if there ever was one. I looked out at my family gathered, many of us weeping, and I squinted at the sun in my eyes. I felt the warmth on my face. When my father was sick it was grey every day and I recall the autumn was much the same. It struck me on that chilly November morning that if he was ever going to be close to me again, it could be in that moment, surrounded by his family, in the quiet country cemetery already lined with our ancestors. I remembered going there with him many years ago after his father died.
I managed to put a smile on my face at the luncheon afterwards, and drove home alone. I decided this day would be my 'line in the sand' as a coworker was fond of saying. I could move forward from all the awful limbo of the hospital and estate administration. I could look at that day with appreciation and see about getting back to my life. I got on the treadmill when I was home and put my mind and body in motion.
In November we buried my father. It was a day I had dreaded since he died. It was a final task if there ever was one. I looked out at my family gathered, many of us weeping, and I squinted at the sun in my eyes. I felt the warmth on my face. When my father was sick it was grey every day and I recall the autumn was much the same. It struck me on that chilly November morning that if he was ever going to be close to me again, it could be in that moment, surrounded by his family, in the quiet country cemetery already lined with our ancestors. I remembered going there with him many years ago after his father died.
I managed to put a smile on my face at the luncheon afterwards, and drove home alone. I decided this day would be my 'line in the sand' as a coworker was fond of saying. I could move forward from all the awful limbo of the hospital and estate administration. I could look at that day with appreciation and see about getting back to my life. I got on the treadmill when I was home and put my mind and body in motion.
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